Threw my phone into a pie,
Choked while yelling “I can fly!”
Licked a wall, called it babe,
Did a keg stand in a cave.
Duct-taped socks onto my head,
High-fived someone who was dead.
Punched the air, then kissed a tree
This party’s got a hold on me!

I’m cooked, you’re fried,
Jan just screamed and fucking died!
(JK, he’s fine!)
Lost my spine!
Whose bra is that?
Not mine!
Tobby’s twerking on a chair
Help me God, I don’t care!

We’re drunk as fuck, can’t feel my toes,
Someone pissed inside my clothes.
The floor’s on fire, or maybe not
Licked a toaster, now I’m hot.
Shots in hand, pants are gone,
Someone’s crying to a Post Malone song.
Don’t ask why, just sing along
What the fuck is going on?!

Where’s my pants?
Fucked my stance!
Who’s that dude?
Licked my boots!
Grab that beer!
Stick it here!
Snort some cheese!
Slap the priest!
Holy fuck, I need therapy!

I’m cooked, you’re fried,
Jan just screamed and fucking died!
(JK, he’s fine!)
Lost my spine!
Whose bra is that?
Not mine!
Tobby’s twerking on a chair
Help me God, I don’t care!

We’re drunk as fuck, can’t feel my face,
Just threw up in someone’s vase.
Stole a goat, gave it a name,
Now it’s DJ-ing this whole game.
Party’s cursed, vibe is strong,
Jan’s now preaching in a thong.
Don’t ask why, just sing along
What the fuck is going on?!

Lights are flashing, world’s unreal,
I just tried to eat the wheel.
Tobby’s gone, Jan’s on the roof,
Shouting “I am party proof!”
Bass is kicking, brain is fried,
This might be how legends died.

We’re drunk as fuck, can’t feel our teeth,
Sniffed some glitter off a wreath.
Naked dancing in the yard,
Screaming “life is fucking hard!”
Lost all sense, still feel right,
This will be the best damn night.
Don’t ask why, just scream along
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!